She shouldn’t be this nervous. Hell, she shouldn’t be nervous at all. It was just a graduation. No big deal. People did it all the time. Just because it had taken her ten years and change from the first time she ever stepped foot on a campus, didn’t mean she should be nervous.
But, damn if her stomach hadn’t been a jumbled mess for the past week. And waking up with the distinct urge to vomit on graduation morning was completely uncalled for.
You’re such a drama queen, Ronnie.
She was also about as stubborn as a mule on Sunday morning. Refusing to fall victim to basic nerves, Ronnie sunk further into the bed and tried to breathe through the nausea. With each breath, though, she got hotter and hotter, until a thin sheen of sweat broke out across her skin.
She was in the middle of swallowing down the lump in her throat when Curt spoke from beside her, his voice low and hoarse from sleep.
“You okay, love?” He lifted his head from the pillow, his dark hair matted and sticking to the side of his face. If Ronnie wasn’t about to puke all over them, she would have found it incredibly endearing. “You sick?”
Ronnie didn’t have time to answer. She threw the covers off herself and ran to the bathroom, her stomach climbing closer and closer to her throat with every step. Within seconds she had her face in the bowl and was spilling lasts night’s dinner.
Curt came in behind her, pulling her red curls behind her and rubbed her back as she heaved a couple more times.
“I don’t know why I’m so nervous about this,” she said when her belly finally stopped roiling enough for her to sit back on her heels. Curt grabbed a washcloth, doused it with cold water and held it to her forehead. Ronnie sighed with relief. “Every day it’s been worse than the day before. Now all I can think of, is what if I puke on stage getting my diploma?”
Curt chuckled.
“You’re not going to puke on stage.”
“But what if?” Ronnie slumped back onto the floor, dropping her head to her knees.
“You’re not. Now come on.” Curt held out his hand for Ronnie. “We’ve still got an hour before we have to go. I’ll rub your back until all these nerves disappear.”
“Really?” A smile crept up on Ronnie’s face. Curt gave the best back rubs…with the best endings. She placed her hand in his and let him pull her to her feet.
Thirty minutes later, Ronnie was lying face down on their bed, completely boneless as Curt moved inside her. She wasn’t sure exactly how she got so lucky, but Curt had made a habit over the seven months they’d been together to make these back rubs at least a weekly event. Sometimes, they were daily. It left Ronnie feeling completely pampered and thoroughly loved. He said he enjoyed them just as much as she did, and from the sounds he was making in her ear, she believed him.
She felt Curt shift his weight, sink deeper into her as he lay himself over her, his stroke long and slow. Deliberate. Some people prefer the intimacy of face to face lovemaking, being able to gaze into their lover’s eyes, but ever since Curt, Ronnie had to admit she loved it this way just as much, if not more. Maybe it was because every other sense was on high alert. Hearing the rumble of satisfaction, smelling that unique spice of him, feeling him: the way the muscles of his chest rippled over her already oversensitive back, his breath feathering over her ear, the scratch of his beard followed by the satin of his lips along her neck, his hand stroking down her side and up to clutch her fingers. And with his thighs bracketing hers, holding them together, his long stroke tight inside her, there was no room for anything else. All she felt was him, inside and out…everywhere. Only him. Forever. Always.
“Let’s just skip graduation and do this all day,” Ronnie said when they lay sated and breathless, moments or maybe hours later, Ronnie couldn’t tell. “Sex with you is all the celebration I need.” Ronnie felt the curve of his lips against the back of her head.
“You can’t miss your graduation, love. You’ve worked too hard for too long to miss it.” Curt rolled off her, pulling her limp body to him and nuzzled her neck.
Ronnie sighed. That was it, though. She’d been working for this for so long now, she didn’t know what she was going to do now that it was over. It was making her crazy.
And sick to her stomach. She groaned as her stomach rolled over again.
“Are you sure this is just nerves?” Curt laid the back of his hand on her forehead.
Ronnie shrugged.
“What else could it be?”
May in western Pennsylvania was tricky. The weather was never predictable. Rain, cold, hot, sticky. You just never knew. And Ronnie wasn’t quite prepared for the hot, sticky mess that graduation day threw at her. At least she wasn’t prepared for how her body reacted to it.
She made it through the ceremony, though, so that was a plus. How she was going to make it back to Curt’s truck, was another matter altogether.
“I have to sit for a minute,” she said, tugging on Curt’s belt buckle before collapsing onto one of the folding chairs still set up on the University’s football field. There were throngs of people milling about with shouts of congratulations sounding all around them. Ronnie wished she could enjoy it, but she felt too horrible for words.
“Baby, what is it?” Her mother knelt down in front of her, stroked her hand down Ronnie’s sweaty face.
“I’m okay, Mom. Just got a little hot.”
Caroline pursed her lips, glanced up at Curt.
“You can rest at my house. Come on, everyone will be there shortly.”
Ronnie wanted to groan. A party did not sound like a great idea at that moment. In fact, at that very moment, it sounded like the worst idea ever. Any other day, a party would be just what the doctor ordered, but all she wanted to do was curl up into a ball and sleep for a hundred years.
Ronnie looked up into the worried faces of her friends and family. Everyone she cared about came out to share in her big day. Myles, Rory, and the girls. Devyn and Hartley. JD and Hayden. All her aunts and uncles. And she knew even more people would be at her mother’s house waiting, including the Sheriff and half of Curt’s co-workers.
It made her happy to know so many people were there for her and wanted to celebrate her. Forcing a smile onto her face, Ronnie slapped her hands on her knees and stood.
And then promptly fell into a faint as the world faded to black around her.
She woke in Curt’s arms, frantic panic coloring the endless ocean of his eyes, his voice cracking with each call of her name. She struggled to get up, embarrassment hot in her gut when she noticed the crowd surrounding them. JD and Hayden pushed people back as her family made a tight circle around her.
“I got you,” Curt said, lifting her into his arms before she could manage to stand on her own.
“I can walk. You don’t have to carry me.” It wasn’t much of a protest, though, given that her head was swimming.
“You fainted when you tried to stand, love. Of course I’m going to carry you.”
“My hero,” she said, trying to make light of the situation, even though it felt like anything but.
“I’m also taking you to the ER.”
The look he gave her dared her to protest. She didn’t though. How could she? She’d just passed out at her college graduation. She’d never, not once in her twenty-nine years, fainted.
She did manage to convince her mother and brother to go back to the house to wait. She didn’t want an ER full of Argents when she knew it was probably just stress and exhaustion. If it was something else, well, she and Curt would deal first. She didn’t want a hysterical mother there, too. The day had been crazy enough as it was.
Nerves prickled at her, though. Throughout the trip to the hospital, she kept up a steady montra of it’s nothing, it’s nothing, it’s nothing.
With her hand tucked safely in Curt’s, they waited for the doctor to return with the results of whatever battery of tests they’d run. There were moments when his hand would tremble. Just for a moment, like he lost his battle to stay calm.
Ronnie squeezed his hand. “It’s nothing.”
She wanted to say more. To reassure him in some way, but she couldn’t. Was it her heart like her father’s? Did she have a bad heart like him and the stress of the last few weeks, hell, years, had finally gotten to her?
They’d talked at length since Christmas about her father and what happened to him. She’d almost gotten to the point of forgiving herself with Curt’s help. He had a way of making her see things in a different way. Of seeing the truth through the lie she’d been telling herself for the last ten years. That no matter what had happened to her, coronary artery disease is what killed her father. She also knew it was genetic.
Ronnie jumped when the door opened and a different doctor appeared than the one who had been there earlier. She was a younger woman, not much older than Ronnie. Pretty, with a pair of red glasses perched on her nose. She flipped through the chart, paging through a couple forms before she lifted her head, smiled, and handed Ronnie a piece of paper.
“Everything looks good, Ms. Argent. Nothing to worry about according to preliminary tests.”
Relief passed through Ronnie. She took the paper and glanced at what appeared to be a list of medical practices. Obstetric medical practices, to be exact.
“What’s this for?”
“There’s no OB marked on your paperwork. I assumed you needed a recommendation.”
Ronnie’s forehead wrinkled. “Um, thank you? But I already have an OBGYN.”
Curt’s arm came around her, pulling her closer.
“Oh, good, then you should follow up with them as soon as possible, but I didn’t see anything wrong with either of you. You’re good to go home. Just make sure to schedule a follow-up ASAP.”
Curt sucked in a breath.
“What are you saying, doctor?” he asked, his voice thready.
The doctor’s eyes narrowed as she paged through the papers on her clipboard for a moment before her eyebrows lifted, eyes flaring wide.
“I’m so sorry; I thought you knew.”
“Knew what?” Ronnie looked between the doctor and Curt, not understanding what was going on. It had to be the heat muddling her brain.
“You’re pregnant, Ms. Argent.” The expression on the doctor’s face was soft, kind. “The nausea, headaches, and fatigue are all signs of early pregnancy.”
“I’m what?” Ronnie shrieked. Curt chuckled, his hand stroking down her hair. When Ronnie turned to look at him, he had a wide smile splitting his face, even though his eyes were as full of shock as she knew hers must be.
“About six weeks now, I’d say.”
Ronnie’s mouth opened, closed a few times before she could manage to get any words out.
“I don’t understand. I take my pills every day.” Her words were barely more than a whisper. She turned glassy eyes to Curt, shock morphing into fear. “Oh my God. I’m…I’m…I’m so sorry.”
“What? Are you kidding me?” His mouth turned down before a bark of laughter erupted from him. “Don’t be sorry. This is great news!”
Ronnie watched as he practically danced on his feet, fumbling around in his pant pockets looking for something.
“But, it’s too soon. I just…I just graduated. I don’t even have a job. I can’t be pregnant. We’re not even…we haven’t even been together a year. I…I…I…”
Her head was buzzing so much she barely heard the doctor excuse herself, the door clicking behind her.
Curt took her face in his hands. When he looked in her eyes she couldn’t see anything but pure joy in him.
“Ronnie. Stop.” He drew in a breath, let it out slowly. “It doesn’t matter when it happened, or why, or how. All that matters is that it did.” He lifted a hand, brushed an errant strand of hair from her eyes. “Do you want this?”
“Well, I…” She couldn’t stop stuttering. Sucking in a deep breath, she swallowed down her nerves. Forced her brain to function. “Do you?”
“Of course I do. This is a gift. This baby is a gift.” Something akin to fear passed through his eyes. “Do you?”
“Yes. I think. No, yes. Of course. I’m just shocked. I never thought…it never occurred to me…” Her hand rubbed over her still flat stomach. “I’m pregnant.”
Curt reached back into his pocket. Held his closed fist in front of him only to open it to reveal a ring; a diamond ring, sparkling under the harsh hospital light. Ronnie gasped.
“Curt?”
“I’ve been carrying this around for weeks, love, waiting for the right time. With work and you being so sick, it never seemed to be the right time.” He chuckled, his eyes glassy but dancing. “And maybe this isn’t the best place or the best time, but it seems right in some crazy unconventional way, and I guess nothing about us has been conventional. So maybe this is the right way.”
Curt’s hand shook the longer Ronnie silently stared at the ring without moving.
Ronnie didn’t know what to say. Well, she did, she just couldn’t seem to get her mouth to work around the knot in her throat.
A tear coursed down her cheek when Curt dropped to his knee, brought her hand to his face and kissed her finger.
“Marry me, Ronnie. Say you’ll marry me; not because you’re pregnant, but because I love you, and you love me.”
Tears began falling in earnest down her face when he slipped the ring on her finger, kissed it. The metal was warm around her finger.
“C’mere. Kiss me.” Ronnie twined her fingers with his, tugging him to his feet. And then they were kissing. Sweet, soft kisses filled with promises of forever.
“Is that a yes?”
“Of course it’s a yes. I love you so much.”
Looking into his eyes, she could see that love reflected back at her. They may have started unconventionally, done things backwards, but that was them. Unorthodox. Unique. Perfect.
“We better go tell Mom.” She loved that he’d taken to calling her mother Mom a couple of months into their relationship. It wasn’t meant as an affront to his own mother, but he seemed to be getting something from her mom that he never got from his—warmth.
“You know my mom and Rory are going to take credit for this.”
“For me knocking you up?” He grinned that devilish grin she found so endearing. “That’s a little presumptuous, even for them.”
Ronnie hip bumped him. “You’re such a goof. This.” She held out her hand, let the simple round cut diamond glimmer in the sunlight streaking through the window.
Curt cupped her face, made her look at him.
“They can take all the credit they want, but my love for you has nothing to do with them, and everything to do with you.” He paused, grinning as he reached down to place his hand on her belly. “And now this. It doesn’t matter how this started…how we started. The only thing that matters is that we go on together.”
It amazed her how one moment could change a life so thoroughly. It happened seven months ago when she spontaneously made Curt her pretend boyfriend, and it was happening again. This time, though, there was nothing pretend about it. It was real and it couldn’t be more perfect.
The End
Thank you for reading Pretend For Me. This novella is an introduction to my Ashton Lake series of standalone novels following the lives and loves of a group of friends living in Ashton Lake. Please click below for the first full-length novel in the Ashton Lake series, Finding Hope, featuring Devyn Hartley & Jackson Hale.
Finding Hope is available to purchase or to read for FREE in KindleUnlimited on Amazon.com.
A single mother. An injured Navy SEAL on the edge of disaster. Will she be able to pull him from the brink, or will his demons push him over?
Devyn Hartley has little time for anything in her life other than raising her daughter and running her successful restaurant. But after witnessing an old friend, Jackson Hale, struggle under the grip of PTSD, she is determined to help him find the strength he needs to come back from a devastating loss that ended his military career.
But will he let her?
Haunted by the events that left him injured in body and mind, Jackson only wants to be left alone as he tries to work his way out of the hell his mind has created for him. All that changes when Devyn walks through his door. He just doesn’t know if he can trust himself to get close to her when the enemy haunting him, is the one in his head.
Finding Hope is a story about finding love, strength and purpose in the face of tragedy. Will Jackson find his place in the world again? Find out today.